Part 1
My field experience has both
challenged and confirmed my prior beliefs about teaching in various ways. What
has challenged me is the realization that I will, in a sense, continue to
"do school." Although Pope addresses the notion of "doing
school" in a negative light, the kind of "doing school" I mean
here, is comparatively trivial. From waking up at 6am, carrying books to class,
eating cafeteria food, to shuffling through smelly, crowded hallways, I found
myself reliving my middle school days. Since I can't say that this environment
brought back the fondest memories, I slightly questioned if teaching was the
route I wanted to take. Another challenge I faced, was one that was met with
the students. Although the majority of the class welcomed me as a part of the
daily scene, one student gave me a cold shoulder. As students chatted before
the beginning of class, I approached two male students who were
enthusiastically talking about the Gangnam Style dance-- a dance made popular
by a Korean singer on YouTube. When the one student, Nate, mentioned that it
was a Japanese artist, I chimed in to tell him that it the artist was actually
Korean. Nate looked at me and said, "Yeah. Ok. Bye. Yep. You can go
now," and rudely put his hand up in my face. What was this about? What did
I ever do to him? At the time this situation bothered me. However, I realize that
it is nothing to mull over. Truth is, students aren't always going to be
completely accepting of authority figures. Some may be much more aggressive and
frank about their rebellious inclinations. In Nate's case, it could have been
that he felt peer pressure or even that his actions were simply a reflection of
his personality. Either way, I learned to expect and accept that there will be students
like Nate, who may not exactly receive me well.
It was my experience in the ESL
classroom that confirmed my desire to teach. It only took my first observation
of the ESL class and an interview with the teacher for me to realize my strong
preference in spending time with ESL students, rather than with my co-op's
English class. Fortunately, my co-op was more than willing to let me
"escape" her class, in order to gain experience with the school's ESL
program/class. The ESL class I observed only had five students. Because of
this, I found it easier to connect to the students by having one-on-one
interactions and attending to individual needs. In the process, I was able to
learn about each student and their cultural backgrounds and even learn bits of
their language. There was an evident sense of community and respect in the
class, which I believe resulted not only through class size, but also by the
fact that the students understood that they were similar to their classmates. All
the students came from and represented different countries, knew a second
language, and were here to improve their English ability. Now, although I've always preferred teaching
ESL students, I know that teaching English/Language Arts next semester will
give me the basic foundation I need to teach the general population.
Having classmates to exchange stories,
advice, and wisdom with has greatly enhanced and shaped my interpretation of the
whole field placement experience. My one colleague, Sharron, shared with me a
story about her observation on the other student teachers at her school. She
told me about a specific female student teacher whom she described as seeming
very naive about teaching. She explained how this student teacher would make a loud,
silly noise whenever she would fumble over her words. (The exact expression is
hard to describe.) In any case, the teacher continued to make this gesture
throughout the lesson. Shannon further explained that the student teacher
taught an eighty-minute lesson on verbals (a form of a verb). Students began to
complain to the head teacher about the student teacher and her lesson. Yikes. Hearing
this story gave me an example of what not to do and also made me somewhat more
confident in my ability to teach in a professional manner, as well as my
ability to create an effective, thoughtful lesson.
My other colleague, Nelly, has also
influenced my learning throughout this semester. Nelly and I not only shared
many of the same classes, but also met regularly after class to discuss our
field experiences, class assignments, and the like. I learned through her that
teachers all have different styles of doing what they do. While my co-op was
flexible and relaxed, her co-op was more rigid and structured. While my co-op
stuck to teaching English, her co-op participated in clubs and sport activities
after school. Between hearing from Nelly about her teaching and observing my
own co-op and other teachers, I learned that teachers have different levels of
engagement within their school and that teachers have different styles of
teaching-- styles that can be equally effective. Through Shannon, Nelly, and
other classmates, my fears and insecurities about teaching have been diminished
due to the support that I was given by them.
Part 2
One of the struggles I faced during
my field experience was my inability to be myself in front of the classroom. I
felt more that I was performing, rather than teaching. My true personality
wasn't able to come out in the class for two main reasons. First of all, I was
a guest. I tended to keep to myself and remain neutral; I tended to shy away
from the spotlight of the class and remain a bystander Secondly, I am naturally
a soft-spoken person. Therefore, being paired with my loud, witty, and
boisterous co-op was an eye-opener. I began to realize that I could not be this
passive, quiet teacher that I was being. My students needed more. My students needed
to see enthusiasm and energy from me; they needed to see my passion.
From realizing all these things, I
believe that I am ready for student teaching. I am much more prepared to teach
and to teach with passion. Although I cannot completely change my personality,
I will make it a goal in the next semester to really push aside my soft-spoken
nature in order connect with my students better. I believe that there is only
one simple step in meeting this goal-- be myself. Now, that I will be assuming
a greater role as a teacher next semester and for a longer time, I recognize
that there will not be time to be reluctant and passive. It's time to hit the
ground running!
