Teacher Responsibility We May Not Think About ...

While doing research and gathering information concerning adolescent behaviors for a final project for another class, I came across a PBS video that is worth watching. The title of the video is Cry For Help. The content of the video involves the issues surrounding teen depression and suicide. It reveals information about mental illnesses in teens by focusing on two high schools that go to great effort to identify teens at risk and the preventive measures they have employed through school wide programs.

Throughout the video school officials, counselors, teachers, and adolescent behavior experts give commentary. They give valuable advice on warning signs and signals to watch for in high school students — things we need to be aware of as future teachers.

In addition to all the before mentioned, Cry For Help recounts real-life tragic events, by means of commentary and the use of media clips, that occurred at high schools over the years as a result of the actions of teens who suffered from mental illnesses. One of the instances involved the horrific tragedy that occurred at Columbine High School, and the events leading up to that day. What stuck out to me the most — my main point of sharing this with all of you — is the fact that prior to that awful day one of the young men involved in the massacre had written a creative writing piece for a class. The piece eerily foreshadowed what was to come in describing a scene in gory detail. The teacher, who had given the writing assignment, graded the paper and wrote comments on the creativeness of the student writer; although the teacher felt they were gruesome, the teacher also remarked on the use of vivid details.

Sadly, the paper by this student was brought to light only after the horrible events of that day occurred. I, like I am sure many others, had to question why this did not send up “red flags” for the teacher. In asking students to write creatively we want to see them reach deep and write with meaning. Often times, and what is hoped for, is that this allows them to open up and share feelings and thoughts through their writing — reveal things about self through writing. This made me think about the responsibilities we will assume as future English teachers when we ask our students to produce writing. Those responsibilities will go beyond “the bones” of grading if we come across something that could indicate serious issues.

So, over three-hundred words later, my point is we need to be good at what we’re going to teach — we get that. Yet, in addition to the skills we need to teach content we also need to have an awareness of adolescent issues and how to recognize those possible “red flags” we may come across when reading our student’s work.

Sorry, I Tend to Rant

I always thought the hardest part of teaching for me would be to actually get up and teach. While it was still hard for me to actually be in front of a group and talk, I found out the hardest part is adapting. 

You have all these plans you make. You have all of these worksheets and projects you feel will help your students. But something happens and you're suddenly forced to change your schedule up or remove something from the plan. It's really frustrating. 

The other part of that is working with what you have. Now, while I was able to work around my teacher having no technology, it was frustrating and annoying because there were times I knew a youtube clip would help the students get something. For example, I was going over Puck's final speech in A Midsummersnight Dream to a group of Freshmen who had never read the play (I was teaching Dead Poets Society and the speech is very important to a character). What I really wanted to do was to show them a clip from The Animaniacs where they "translate" what is being said. While the clip is humorous, it really does get down to what the speech is saying. Since I couldn't do that, I tried breaking it down line by line with the students. It was like pulling teeth with them. And I really feel like they would have gotten it if I had shown them the clip. But I know things like that will happen, and I'll have to get over it.

What I'm really worried about is not being able to open up. I have this thing (it's rather annoying) where I feel like I'm not allowed to speak. I don't know why or when this really started, but I just have a voice in my head that says "Shut up Jess, no one wants to hear it." Needless to say, it's rather hindering and annoying. Especially when you want to teach your students to express themselves. How am I do to that when I'm too afraid to do it myself? I want to be this spontaneous and open teacher. And those who get to know me know that I have the potential to do it (I'm apparently very amusing to listen to, or so I've been told), I just don't know how to bring it out.

I've realized that this post went in multiple directions, sorry. That's how my brain works. So, I'll just finish this by posting that video I wanted to show my students but couldn't. 

Freedom Writers

Last night I sat down and Freedom Writers happened to be on television. I wasn't planning on watching it because I had a million other things to do. Needless to say, I watched the whole movie without moving. I am sure most of the class has seen the movie, but if you haven't I recommend you watch it sometime soon. And if you have seen it, you should watch it again! It is raw but enlightening. I love how the main character and teacher, Erin Gruwell, is passionate and determined. Instead of just giving up on her students, she fights for each and every one of them. She is innovative and creative. She knows that what other teachers have been doing for these students just is not working. She knows she needs to reach them in another way. This movie is great because it is an English content, but I believe any teacher could learn from watching this movie. I am inspired in one way or another every time I watch this movie. Erin Gruwell always has her students in mind when she is teaching. As I am working on my unit plan, I realize I need to keep my students in mind for each aspect of the unit plan. Just my thoughts... :) 

What I wasn't Prepared For

I'm not blind- I've known for a long time that I'm incredibly fortunate. My family of four is still in one piece and not only do we love eachother, but usually we really like eachother too.We've lived in the same house in a beautiful suberban neighborhood for my entire life. My sister and I went to school in the Pennridge School District, which is not struggling even under the budget cuts, and are both now in college for what we love. Money is often a bit tighter than we might prefer, but there's always an abundance of food, our sturdy little house with all the utilities, three cars (plus dad's work van) and every year there are colorfully wrapped presents under the tree. I'm not unaware of the number of blessings are listed just in those few sentences, and that's the quickest of glances. I've long known that many aren't as lucky- not one of my best friends (huge blessings there too) get along with their parents 97% of the time like I do, and more than half of their families are split in some manner. I knew these things, but I knew nothing. Even while ministering to my friends, even while my house is and has long been the 'safehouse' for more than a few people, I never quite understood, never felt the harshness that life could deal out, the effect of truely and resoundingly bad shenanigans (as opposed to normal bad shenanigans which pale in comparison).

Placement changed that- or started to. In keeping with the harshness of such realities, there were times when it was way too much, when I didn't know what to do and was drowning. Three classes- in each more than half the students knew someone who had been raped, someone who'd been kicked out of their homes by their parents and someone who was no longer living. Then later coming in just one schoolday after the unexpected and senseless (a tree he was cutting with his family fell on him) death of a student- who was in one of my classes. That was the only day that I actually felt like an interloper, unwanted and unwelcome (not through any malice or intention, that's just the way it was). The emotional razors embedded in essays- every mention of the tragety slicing at my already breaking heart. Leaving the room as one student shared something in her journal with Mrs. Schober, something that was most certainly bad shenanigans. Hearing two beautiful young women tell of the time they each spent on the streets as 'runaway' teens, unwelcome at home for days or a week or more and of the horrific things their mothers have said to them. Reading a bound book- the stories of last year's junior comm class. The daily difficulties and tragedies. Mrs Schober arriving one morning tearful and exhausted by a sleepless night rocked by a personal crisis, and leaving after 2nd period, unable to stay. Dozens of concerned queries "Where's Mrs Schober?" and all I can say is "She didn't feel well so she went home." It's not enough, but they accept it.

For each weight, each rocking disturbance of my suberban, working class breaking into lower middle, sheltered, conception of the natural order of things, there was a hope far exceeding the bad shenanigans that might have obscured it. 20 teens 'Together as One' to start and advocate for 'Building Hope' a program and, with luck, eventually a shelter for 'runaway' teens in Lancaster. Stories of bad shenanigans piling utop one another, all ending with "it was bad, but it's getting better," "it is bad but I'm stronger for it," and "I will overcome." Two classes together producing memorial sweatshirts at blinding speed, in time for the heavily altered fieldtrip (everyone agreed that visiting the Holocaust Museum, Arlington, and the Vietnam War Memorial the day after the funreal was a bad idea, so we went to the zoo, then had the option to go to the Holocaust Museum or do a scavenger hunt on the Mall). Teachers and students alike smiling a the antics of sea lions and elephants all clad in the bright gold sweatshirts. Midsummer's Night Dream performed with a "white trash" twist, or set "in the 'hood."

It seems that in school, like theatre, "the show must go on"  but always it continues mindfully, aware of why it must and why it mightn't feel right.

Challenging Your Students

My experience in the classroom as a substitute has always been to "fly by the seat of your pants".  Walking into the classroom, not knowing what I will be teaching until 5 minutes before the bell rings has been my experience.  Many times I am in for the same teachers so throughout the year I get to know the students and I have become a familiar face for many of the students and teachers.  However, my experience has always been limited to 3 or 4 days maximum in a classroom.  So I often see the start, middle, or end of projects/units very rarely do I ever see them from start to finish.

I am so glad that I had this opportunity in the classroom. Not only did I read an entire play/book with students, but I was able to see their growth as readers.  My co-ops classes consist of mostly low level students.  Very few aspire to goto college, many of them goto the vo-tech for most of their day and have little vision of what their future will be after graduation.  However, in my short time there, I struggled seeing the potential many of the students have with no one to push them further, or atleast it is how I perceived it.  Students became engaged when reading and enjoyed what they were reading, but I wish that more would have been done to challenge what they could do.  There were tests and quizzes and graded worksheets, but very few project based learning took place.  Yes they were a tiresome group some days that pushed the teacher to her limit, but when the students finished reading an entire play, they were given a test and moving on to the next thing the day after.  I asked if more would be done with the play but was simply told - I have too much that I have to accomplish with them this semester and I don't think they could handle it anyway. 

Another moment that really let me down was after talking to one of the students in class that wrote constantly in a notebook during class.  He was a good student and participated, doing well on his tests and quizzes.  So my last week there he and some other students came over to talk to me at the end of class.  I asked him what he was writing in his notebook.  He told me he was writing a book series of 3 books.  He started to tell me what it was about.  I asked if he had finished any of the books yet and he said only one is written so far, but the rest was "up here" (pointing to his head).  The bell rang and he left, I commented how great that was to my co-op.  Her response to me was - "Just because he is writing it doesn't mean it is any good."  I think by my facial expression she could tell that I was offended by her comment.  She has made it clear to me on other occassions that she prefers her "honors" kids and doesn't enjoy teaching the lower level kids as much.   She is fair and well liked by the kids and does a good job with her classes, but I was disappointed that she didn't push the lower kids. 

For me, I have used this time in the classroom to reflect on what type of teacher I want to be.  I know we all have our capes on and want to go out and change the world as new teachers.  This scares me in many ways, but I have realized how scared these kids must be.  Do we not push the lower kids because their test scores say not to? Do we teach them that they are only able to handle so much information and can't be challenged?  I often was asked to work with kids who missed school, or were sitting in ISS for the day, or who needed to make up a test, or who needed the test read to them.  It was frustrating to know how much they understood, and what they didn't know because they slept through class that day.  I often had conversations with them about what grade they would have if they just stayed awake.  For me many of these kids were capable, but just weren't given the opportunity to be pushed. 

Sorry It’s Over …

Looking back on it, I can’t believe how fast our time in the field flew by. I was really sorry to have it end. I was beginning to feel “settled in” and was getting comfortable in my “almost teacher” shoes. I left my field assignment with mixed feelings of sadness in leaving and excitement for what is yet to come (Did I say excitement? I really meant fear!)

I feel very blessed to have had Mr. G. for my co-op. From day one he was feeling me out as far as my goals and ambitions were concerned. He was eager to guide me—notice I didn’t say lead. He showed me how he did things and was open to some of the new ideas I brought with me as a student. He introduced me to many other teachers in the English department, a few of who he made arrangements for me to spend time with them in their classrooms. They were equally kind and eager to share with me their methodology.

Unfortunately, many of the new technologies for the classrooms that we have been learning (struggling to learn) my co-op is unable to implement. The technology security at the school doesn’t allow for much other than emails and Moodle. Of course they have internet access, but for security purposes many things are blocked; therefore, some of the amazing things available in technology that we have been hearing about and learning are non-available to my co-op. Yet, he manages to be an incredible teacher who engages his students in many ways, even without all the “cutting edge” technology.

One of the most important things that stands out about my co-op is that his students genuinely like him and respect him. It’s not a sense of obligation in their role as a student—they just simply like the man. This is evident in their cooperation, their willingness to work, and their drive to do well (most of the time).

My last day—the students didn’t know it was my last day till the end of the class periods—after I finished teaching a lesson one of the students commented on the lesson. He said he“thought it was awesome.” It made me feel great and at the same time made me want to cry because I knew I would be leaving. At that point Mr. G. informed them that I would be leaving them and returning to Millersville. A big “awwwhhh” was expressed by the students, which made me realize they must have come to like me a little bit too. But, the thing that really touched my heart was when the one student said, “But Mr. G. can’t we keep her?!”

 

 

 

Coldplay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWLpTKBFcU

This music video is titled The Scientist by Coldplay. The video depicts a man who is dealing with the loss of a girlfriend from a car crash. The music video is played backwards. In the video, the motif is the use of lines. I also liked this music video because it shows a reality for teenagers about the dangers and potential heartache of driving. My cooperating teacher used this music video to better explain what a motif is. The class was studying Edgar Allan Poe who often uses motifs in his works. Instead of just jumping into the text, Mr. Schwalm asked if I thought it would help to show a music video and see if students could identify the motif in the music video. I said absolutely. I knew the music video could be a mentor text. Even though the music video only lasted about 3 minutes, the students were attentive and eager to see the video. It was something different and unexpected so it caught their attention. Just thought I would share this teaching experience with you. :)

ONe on One

This one student touches my heart, she is ridiculously rude, she is always in trouble, usually getting suspended.  But I do not want to give up on her like the others.  I sat her down and spoke to her and told her to be honest with me.  I told her that when I look at her I see me, I see potential in her and why will she not let it shine.  She put her head down, I said what do you like about school, she said IDK.  I told her to be honest with me, she told me she liked socializing, nothing else appealed to her.  I asked her what were her goals and aspirations, she wants to be a counselor.  I then said I am not sure but can counselors have jail records, can they be fighters, in which she looked up at me with a bashful face and said no.  I told her she was smart and stayed on top of her in class, I spoke to her like the human she was.  I watched her blossom, she has moved up in her English class from behavior to AP and I feel like a proud mommy.  I watched her behavior transform.  She is currently upset that I am leaving, I do not want to give up on her.  I want to stay connected with her because I can see how she is capable of great things, she just needs someone else to believe in her.... and I do!

Reflection

I have grown and learned so much from this experience, I know what kind of teacher I want to be.  I know how I want to manage my class, the kinds of relationships I want to have with my students.  Honestly, I have connected with many students, the ones close to my heart are the ones with behavior problems, I see me in them.  I know they can make it, they can do it and I tell them that.  They know I am genuine and that is why they don't want me to leave, which adds to why I do not want to leave.  My heart is pained in that this process has to end, especially when I do not want it to.........
: (

frustrated

So on 10-29-12

I was astonished and finally hit with reality and ALMOST wanted to run away from this profession.  Not because of the lower level behavior problem students, or because it is not yet my classroom.  But because the superintendent.  My teacher co-teaches with another student and they work hard with the students in their classroom.  They do not believe in detention because they believe it causes resentment and makes it more difficult to create a learning experience.  We were ready House on Mango Street and the superintendent and principal walked in, through class, which students became off task.  I was writing on the board and in a personal email to my teacher, the superintendent said that I had misspelled a word and how it was frustrating for him.  He said that I had no space between A and lot, in which I did.  I typed it in word, it automatically spaces if not given a space, and pops up red if re-edited.  I do not understand why I received a hit simply because my teachers did.  He also said that the students were rowdy, but these are behavior students, they were quietly reading along, asking questions, this was normal classroom behavior.  He also said that they were not engaged, but if we are reading a book, how engaged can they really get, while reading...?  My teachers were both so upset about the review that affects them, that neither will teach behavior students next year.  Is this the solution to knock teachers, who try and are stressed out but still come in everyday ready to teach?  WHY is our system so broken?  The only other solution the school seems to have is suspend them----NOT the solution.  When they are suspended they are not allowed to make up any work, AGAIN the WRONG answer!!!!!!!!!
This profession sucks, but I love the students

Pictures from Classroom

These are a couple of pictures of what my co-ops classroom looks like. We began doing this formative assessment of what the class understood and annotated from the story "The Lottery and A Worn Path." Each story took about 2-3 days to cover. The reason was because after they annotated as a class on these chart papers that each had a literary term, the following day they had an oral class quiz. The questions to this quiz came from the answers on the chart and more critical thinking questions that they may have skipped over. 

Day two of this lesson, the students set up the desks in a straight line and ahead of it on the white board my co-op put the oral quiz chart. The chart is comparing each class result from this oral quiz. The point of this quiz is that the class works together in coming up with good well develop answers to questions that we facilitate from the short story and their answers in order to help them think deeper. 

On an average day our desks are set up in a circle. My favorite class in which I taught a lot, was always  set up like this because we discussed and analyze Frankenstein the last free days I was there. Overall my classroom was very student centered, open discussion and very safe, that students for the most part felt they could be open with their own opinions and share. I loved that. 

These are two other bloc students who carpool with me. They are both social studies ed. 

Central York Middle School Reflection

It wasn't what I had planned or imagined. The last day of field placement made me learn to be flexible.

My Monday night was spent working on a Prezi on inference. My Co-op teacher informed me that the kids would be learning inference next, and that I could do an introduction lesson on it Wednesday. I had never created a Prezi, so I chose a template and went from there. I must say, it is actually fun making one. It always looked complicated and time consuming to me. After I finished my Prezi, I showed it off to my brother, who is currently a student teacher. He was impressed and pointed out one slide that was just common sense. He said it made it sound like I'm teaching to kindergarten students. 

Wednesday came and I was up early to bake cupcakes for my team teachers. In the middle of filling up the trays, I noticed that I had forgotten to put water in the mix! No wonder I couldn't fill up all 24 holes. I rush to buy another box of cake mix. And candy for the kids! Round two. Same thing, but this time I forgot to add the oil. 30 minutes left till I have to go and I still need to put the trays in the oven. Somehow I managed to make it to school on time. With oil-less cupcakes all decorated in orange and black to show panther pride.

Tuesday, I learned that I wouldn't be teaching inference. I would be reading Marley and Me instead.

Wednesday, in addition to reading and reviewing theme, another 7th grade English teacher suggested I do sentence starters with the class to help them identify their own theme in their writing. When she first told me of this idea, I was confused how it would exactly tie in with the stage the students are at now with their writing. "And what do you mean by sentence starters?" 

Basically, in the four classes I taught, the students looked at me with confusion all over their faces. It was difficult for me to clarify, because I was still unsure of what the teacher wanted me to do with the sentence starters. On top of that, I learned that some students already had a theme in their writing, while others did not. To this day, I don't know what exactly I was supposed to do or if I did what the teacher meant. She made me feel better though, after explaining my confusion to her by saying, "It's not you... it's them." Right, I knew that the students were having a tough time overall with theme. But the fact that the kids had no idea what they were doing or why-- was on me.

During the last period of the day, I looked through all the students' responses and made a sour face. I read responses of all sorts. Some got it, but the majority had weird, unrelated answers. But again, I can't really blame them. Although my Co-op told the class it would be graded, after seeing my reaction, she told me I could just toss them in the trash. "I don't have the time."

As I left the school, I said goodbyes to my team teachers. They wished me luck. I never got the chance to say goodbye to the students. I walked to my car with the bag of unopened candy. 

So melancholy!! On a brighter note, my Co-op gave me a wonderful experience. Her enthusiasm and wit definitely help with engaging her students. She commented on my final evaluation that I am ready for student teaching and that I will be an asset to the teacher. So, there's that too. 

Thoughts from Cedar Crest

I cannot believe the field experience is already over. It is bittersweet. I will miss my cooperating teacher and the students but I also know that by it being over I am a step closer to student teaching. I enjoyed working with my mentor because he was a realistic teacher. I felt like I was getting and inside look into the daily life of a teacher. I saw how he planned his days and how he moved from one day to the next. My mentor was very flexible and always changing. He never really had a set lesson each day. He made things up as he went but he was always thinking and had appropriate resources to use. He has been teaching for about 15 years so he has a great selection of materials to use. That is one thing that scares me as a prospective teacher. I wonder how I will accumulate materials to use in my classroom. After constructing my lessons plans I have realized the internet is  great resource. It is beneficial that other teachers are willing to share their own ideas and lessons. My mentor encouraged me to ask questions.
I asked him a lot of questions about assessment. He often did reading comprehension quizzes which were a type of formative assessment. If students were to read a text outside of class, they would often have a small quiz in class the next day. He explained that this helped with accountability and also determining which students can individually comprehend a text. I liked the small quizzes because they were quick and effective.

Central Middle School Reflection

Last week was spent with more teaching. Since my team has two English teachers who work together to cover the same material, I was able to teach four classes right after each other. This has helped me to become more comfortable with the class, as I became less rigid after each class.

Entrance/exit slips from four classes.

On Thursday, I reviewed theme and read another chapter of Marely and Me. I asked the class to listen carefully in order to identify themes in the chapter. I then presented the class with an entrance/exit slip on theme. To leave the class, they had to complete the questions: What did you learn about theme? What themes did you find in the chapter? List four and give evidence. As I looked through their responses, the majority of the students across all classes did a fair job. The part where students messed up was in forgetting to site any evidence for their second question. In once class, no one had sited evidence, which makes me wonder if I forgot to mention it in that class. For their entrance slip, the students had to answer: List six themes you are interested in. Why is theme important? All students did much better on these questions. In all, this assessment told me what the students understood or did not understand. For example, one student answered, "Theme teaches you stuff." This obviously tells me that the student didn't understand theme very well. Or maybe he didn't know how to word it better. I wanted to reward the students who followed all directions and completed all questions fully. So, I bought apple scented scratch-n-sniff stickers saying well done, nice work, and wow! Maybe stickers are a little childish for middle school kids, but it's something.

As I was marking up these exit/entrance slips, I found it interesting how the levels of the students are so extreme. I feel like there's such a difference between the brightest student and the not-so-bright student. My co-op noted that some students are just not yet there in their development of critical thinking.

Also on Thursday, as I was walking back to class, I saw the next door student teacher talking in the hallway with a student. The student was crying. As I passed by, I could pick up that the student was upset about something scary or violent happened. The student teacher was trying to console her by telling her a similar story. This was the second time I saw a student cry at school. Both times the crying students were girls. It makes me question what my response would be as a teacher. And if I would be prepared for that first time something like this happens.

Just some thoughts on last week …

Last week (Hopefully everyone came through it okay) was a good example of how quickly a “week in the life of a teacher” can change. The school where I am assigned, Cedar Crest High School, was closed on Monday and Tuesday because of the hurricane. Friday was an in-service day. Therefore, my co-op teacher had his students in his classroom Wednesday and Thursday—except for those who attended a field trip on Thursday, which eliminated most of the students in two of his classes that day. Adding to all of this the semester was supposed to have ended on Friday. The administration changed it to this Monday.

My co-op, along with two other teachers I have had the opportunity to observe during my field service experience, had plans for unit reviews and tests—one teacher had a final paper due for her students. Amazingly—or should I say they had no choice , because the marking period was closing in, ready or not—they all three managed to get in their reviews and get in the summative assessment for their students for the period end on Monday.

In order to do this they all made some type of adjustment. After all, it wasn’t just a typical week where they could just keep rolling through their lesson plans cutting an activity here or there. This was crunch time. This was the end of the marking period time. In the eyes of their students they did so without skipping a beat and without putting  any added pressure on their students; in discussing it with me they revealed that for them they’ve learned to overcome the pressures of this type of situation and roll with it.

 

Just Something I Thought to Share

I had a very interesting experience in the faculty room (not the one for eating. This was like a prep room). During lunch, I was making my mac and cheese in the prep room like I normally did, looking at all the books on the book shelf as I waited for the microwave to bing. While doing so, one of the English teachers came in and commented on how organized the room was getting. As I was agreeing, she pointed to a stack of Emma books on the table near us. She told me they were hers and that she never used them. 

At that moment, another English teacher came in to use the microwave. She joined in on the conversation. The first teacher told me about an older English department head they used to have who told them they had to get through at least one book a quarter. She exclaimed it was impossible to do with the type of schedule the school had and all the unexpected changes that were always being made. As she was leaving, she made a comment about changing to a bloc schedule, and the way she said it made it sound like a horrible idea. The other teacher rolled her eyes and told me that she liked bloc scheduling. I admitted that I was a little biased because I went to a high school that had blocs instead of periods, so I was used to it. However, I mentioned that I could deal with either. she also told me that she was able to get through at least a book a quarter, even with her general students. Apparently, she's on her second book with them already. She left to go to the bathroom, and I left with my food. 

It was just a very weird but interesting encounter.